One of Three Sides of One('s) Self by Charles A Perrone

 

One

of

Three

Sides

of

One('s)

Self

 

                Charles A. Perrone

 

           

 

                                                                        I AM

Yeah, I am that guy who thinks

that a peer having been assigned to write

from the prompt " I am " means me too

I am that annoying hanger-on who hears the cue

and immediately and urgently wants to know

if "I am" is supposed to be followed by adjectives or nouns

or both and in which case if these are regulated by any rules

Yes I am the collector of apt and appropriate modifiers

actively alliterated at all angles (to) ameliorate all auditory areas

and I am the aggregator of nominative non- or real entities

baby boy teen adult man middle-aged mess-maker elder and more

citizen resident traveler passport-holder border-wall jumper

I am not the subject of "Yo Soy [I am] Joaquín", though I know him,

nor of Sam-I-Am by one Doctor Seuss, an actual MD if memory serves,

Yet I am sick and tired of having to remember so many things

not to be subjected to criticism harassment ridicule and the like

not to mention two-part descriptors making singles feel inadequate

I am this I am that I am thin I am fat I am prose I am not

I am wrought I am rhymed I am primed to explode metaphorically

or even literally if I can manage to set and ignite this here fuse

that I am confused about or about which I am confused

used abused and disabused of my I-am alternative takes

one to know one I am you are we is we are too

enthralled by this notion of first-person self to be able to admit

that I am writing with a progressive slant can mean

more than one thing I am prepared to admit

is that I am me myself and I may be tautological but still logical

an on-going affirmation of this old being while beginning anew

 

I AM 2. (adjectives)

I am anxious to reply though not angst-ridden

I am almost riddled with inquiries and doubts

I am questionable as a starter on the first team

I am teeming with imported exotic liquids to imbibe

I am exogenous despite not being sure what the word means

I am mildly cruel where lack of congeniality is concerned

I am worried to some extent but not yet consumed

I am subsumed under so many rubrics that I simply ignore

I am rubricated in diverse tongues to compensate for my lapses

I am compensatory in the on-going efforts to make tracks or trades

I am efficacious and efficient if do not say so myself and I do

I am salacious as well just to employ the vocabular item sic transit

I am filled with ploys and plays designed to trick the defense

I am trickle-down conscious as an ad-induced amateur economist

I am loving of things related to distribution of wealth and equity

I am distasteful in the eyes of rich and nasty administrators

I am impecunious to judge by the parameters currently in place

I am paramedically unqualified to emit such opinions now or beforehand

I am opinionated because I know a lot of things a lot indeed

I am knowledgeable about love abundance and reasons why

I am reasonable logical laudable lovable adorable and more

I am modest most welcome mode-weary and more of the same

I am willing to consider proposals that push the agenda forward

I am actually ingenious even if I do not seem to be letting on

I am unseemly if you look at it from the opposite and wrong point of view

I am oppositional by nature and nature-bound by chosen position

I am tied to this view and happily roped into the realm

I am through with this overpass and under-count of betterment.

 

I AM  3. (nouns)

I am a recipient of personal-improvement projects and plans

I am a pure provocation, an excuse for protest, a pest

I am a nun, a sister, a superior mother, or not

I am a monk, a brother, a fellow, a member of the gang, a limb

I am a lame duck, a crippled ally, an injured nobody of sorts

I am a protein, a muscle, an addition, a blind grate

I am a blockage, a swinging gate, a fence, a yard-full

I am your worst nightmare, your X come home to roost

I am a perch, a post, a place kept, plural-plant keeper

I am a radio, an adage, appendage, old age encroaching

I am an excuse to excuse such clearly bad behavior

I am a homophone, a plate of hominy, a homily read on time

I am a sax, a rack of righteous ribs, a shoulder that blocks

I am a joint, a session of congress, a congenial cross

I am an in-between interstitial interpretive cell or call to arms

I am a supporter a  reporter a rapport-free idiot savoir

I am an impostor, a foster parent of a foreign child prodigy savant

I am an expedition an extradition a sort of fancy diction

I am a counter (numbers), a counter (kitchen), a counter (culture)

I am an eye, an ear, a nose, a throat, an acronym

I am a set of letters, an abbreviation, a code for knowing

I am a command, an order, a disposition, an attitude, a pose

I am a pretend corpse,  a phony cadaver, an undefunct functionary

I am an easel, a rough patch, a facility, asperity aspired

I am a cycle, of unexpected rounds squares lines and arrows

I am a near-miss, a misnomer, a roaming beast, unkempt

I am the last refuge of a scoundrel, a drill to make a final well and test

I am the same person who received the delivery and opened the package

 

I AM  4.   prepositions (28 thereof)

 

 

I am above reproach, approach, the fray, all the way

I am across the street, the reef, the riff, refrain, phrase, re-phrase

I am against the raise in principle, principally for no particular reason

I am along the shore, the moor, the poor man's road to burial and such

I am among the most monstrous menaces you may meet Monday next

I am around the edge of the abyss which I might miss as you may as well

I am at wit's end, the end of my rope, the crossroads of Europe and Asia

I am before thee oh most beloved fearless leader, treat me accordingly

I am behind on my payments, you and your sacred mounts, willingly

I am below the floorboards, the median line, the linear markings of will

I am beneath contempt, or any other similar reaction you deem I deserve

I am beside myself with grief, relief, belief in the ever and never lasting

I am between jobs right now, so please bear with me 'til the penultimate line

I am by the bus stop, the top of the ice cream truck, the tip of the nice berg

I am down but not out, of sight, of mind, of mine, of yours, of elder judges

I am from a pleasant little town in the country, hinterland, outback, or closeby

I am in this box, this defined space, this confinement, this jail, this countdown,

I am into the mainstream, the flow, the flux, the rest of the rows and columns,

I am near the agreed drop-off location, so you can deposit items per previous

I am of native extraction, despite what any of you may have heard elsewhere

I am off, off course, off my meds, off the mark, off by a long shot, off the offset

I am on, on course, on my meds, on the mark, on the ball, on the onset plus

I am to, as in going to somewhere, somehow, someday, some way, to stay

I am toward, as in turned toward the ward of well-being, the cell of agreeing

I am under tremendous strain, the weather, -neath cut off lines for assistance

I am upon this specially selected spot, on purpose with resolve and resistance

I am with it, with you, with child, with all those who maintain the good cause

I am within you, within me, within my live rights to demand undying attention.

 

 

 

Cheddar Selfie

 

 

I AM  5.   The ABC of It (28 thereof)

 

 

I am Adam, the first man according to legend, lore, and more

I am Bedlam, wildly trying to make you think if that can even be

I am Cedar, a kind of tree causing you to feel righteous and strong

I am CH, je suis la Confédération Helvétique, je vous en remercie

I am Demetrius, some Biblical or Hellenic hero or sports celebrity

I am English, a language made up of several other tongues et al.

I am Fanny, a funny lady whose job it is to deceive and distract you

I am Grandfather Time, aching to know why Chronos is masculine

I am Hades, resting shaft for dead souls that hades sharply down

I am I, me, myself, first-person singular entity, own individual self

I am January, a month, a river, an image in someone's mind perhaps

I am Karnak, collected decrepit buildings of some ancient civilization

I am Loser, otherwise known as the one who did not end up winning

I am Mervin, a magician, a marvelous maker of mirths and meanings

I am Nefertiti, because my name means the beautiful one has arrived

I am Ñ, N-yay, formerly a letter in the Spanish alphabet and now, n+˜

I am Oppenheimer, academic scientist with coast to coast credentials

I am Peter, upon this rock I built a church and sold it at a huge profit

I am Q, a sharp fictional character totally based on a real-life occupation

I am Roger, whose name radio communicators say to acknowledge rcpt.

I am Superman, a hero, superhero, unholy übermensch in a certain way

I am Tesla, former friend of Edison and current stealer of all currencies

I am U-boat, our quaint version of an aquatic pleasure vehicle to enjoy

I am V, Thomas Pynchon's debut novel when fiction was still soaring

I am W, a double U, whose evolution from Latin has always baffled us

I am X, I mark the spot, a point ahead where things are coming to a head

I am Yiddish, an entertaining idiom once it became a New York dialect

I am Zed, the letter, standing for Zorro, and the termination of the alphabet.

 

                             

 

I AM  6.   The Numbers (1-28)

 

I am one, a single, unique, lone-time happenstance

I am two, a one-on-one, a pair, a trio minus one, deux

I am three, a holy trinity, a triptych, tripartite trepidation

I am four, on the floor, engaging gears to race toward more

I am five, a center dot on a die surrounded by pairs of dots

I am six, points for a score in a game using all body parts

I am seven, the most magical digit, countless applications

I am eight, a ball to be behind in a different human game

I am nine, to which some players aspire to be dressed

I am ten, little Native-Americans complaining with reason

I am eleven, a key glyph and cipher in ludic lacerations

I am twelve, an age at which tenacity makes little sense

I am thirteen, can you say triskaidekaphobia? I clearly can.

I am fourteen, eligible for confirmation in the catholic nation

I am fifteen, the amount people jokingly say when 5 obtains

I am sixteen, sweet, ever so sweet, and if you'd like some proof

I am seventeen, a magazine, a pivotal link in the chain of what?

I am eighteen, so thrilled to be able to be drafted into the army

I am nineteen, I have the distinction of being one short of 10x2

I am twenty, two decades in one chronological entity, how great

I am twenty-one, all the bars can't wait to welcome me, I'm pure

I am twenty-two, in my country this is the age to graduate college

I am twenty-three, I have been officially unemployed for a year

I am twenty-four, I'm sorry I can't stop thinking of Willie Mays

I am twenty-five, again, sorry, that really is the MPH speed limit

I am twenty-six, double up on your triskaidekaphobia •/• 2

I am twenty-seven and already ready to take my place in heaven

I am twenty-eight and the conclusion to all these elaborations.

 

 

 

7.   I AM  (Outro)

I am the same customer who has been drawn in by click bait

I am not the client who was hired by the provider of the product

I am a good provider as family friends have said of my own father

I am farther & further and nee-ther & nigh-ther and equally both

I am only occasionally contrary yet always raring to go to the limit

I am in a constant state of rush hurry and you-only-live-once episodes

I am endeavoring to find a verbal solution to one of these predicaments

I am driven to return to the imperative of negation at least for now

I am not going to give into the temptation to tantalize unsuspecting youth

I am adjectival as often as I am adjunct given current employment prospects

I am egregious gregarious hilarious hellacious anxious and perspicacious

I am patient patented pretentious prehensile and utterly predictable

I am not what you expected nor what you thought you were paying for

I am not prone to prayer nor the rare benediction at a holiday feast

I am however willing to allow you to feast your eyes on this fine repast

I am being ostentatious about but scarcely sharing by any means

I am cruel if by that you mean telling the truth about your investments

I am invested in many things sartorial and several more aerial

I am highly concerned with the level of rust on my sign language

I am signature to too many deals even to count accurately

I am sensing a sense of closure in your refusal

I am prepared to refuse your supposedly final offer

I am finalizing a new definition of finality with fine edges

I am an edge a ledge a ledger a badger a bad boy in tow

I am at the conclusion of this voyage and content

I am happy never again to pay rent or to have spent joy away

I am far and away the most bestial candidate in this menagerie

I am going to be able to manage to break on through to the other side

 

I AM 8.

I am the delivering doctor whose name I discovered six decades later

I am the nice nurse who nixed one nickname in favor of a better one

I am the driver of the car you threw gravel at while laughing at will

I am the photographer who attended to young customers with a pony

I am the neighborhood parent whose daughter somehow contracted polio

I am the stay-at-home-dad who chased hot-rodders off his street

I am the orchard owner who sold out and simply let housing take over

I am the next-door nanny whose bedroom was invaded by an errant car

I am the salesman across the street who literally ran off with his secretary

I am the dentist who worked on candy-fed kids without the benefit of novacaine

I am the new kid on the block who invented a new game each and every month

I am the co-worker with kids who went to play golf and had a heart attack instead

I am the cherry tree guard who thinks shooting teens with buckshot is just fine

I am the admired athlete who hit a foul ball through a nearby garage window

I am the fidgety teacher whose earlier nervous breakdown was found out later

I am the lad who slept in a geodosic dome and hanged himself in that very place

I am the woman who hung all her tie-dye clothes on a chain link fence

I am the person who saved enough to afford gender reassignment surgery

I am the gardener who revoked use of any and all plastics in the yard

I am the good-humor man re-creating childhoods on corner streets

I am the information technology genius who finally figured out his boss was CIA

I am the policeman who gave his badge to a babe and went to revel in raves

I am the trust-fund brat who places fake crocodile jaws in the public pond

I am the retired proctologist who is offering free-of-charge examinations

I am the cousin who left the Catholic Church because it was too liberal

I am the old friend not realizing that to sell life insurance doesn't become him

I am the family practice physician who thinks I should locate a specialist

I am the insistent solicitor who wants me to buy a plot in the cemetery.

 

 I AM 9.

I am a newborn at a hospital of brick and mortar, mortar and brick

I am an unnecessary nuisance in the eyes of my older sister

I am already a danger to passing cars unaware of my slingshot

I am an expert sled man in my oh so futile imagination

I am an annoyance to all associated with the travel industry

I am an unlikely candidate to live albeit briefly in a hotel

I am the guilty party in the pilfering of the neighbor's fruits

I am a bad patient for gastrointestinal specialists who issue orders

I am a bicycle thief on his way to see a double feature in color

I am a budding sportsman capable of making stronger people cry

I am the guy who burst into laughter when the motorcyclist skidded on pavement

I am the eyewitness who thought it would be fun to lie outright

I am the brave observer who told a precociously bearded boy to back up and off

I am the best chemist this side of the Sierras to judge by this experiment

I am actually deathly afraid of those greased-head wielders of chains

I am a born comedian making all sorts of folks chuckle and speculate

I am an actor a pretender a make-believe maven making good

I am a collector of used newsprint unwilling to reveal exactly why

I am the nephew of an engineer who hoards string and twine

I am a prankster with fake ink spots, faux vomit, and assorted tricks

I am an extra-special edition of the ad hoc newsletter

I am a breaking news story unto myself according to reliable sources

I am a draft dodger in my own mind and by due design

I am the only member of the band who does not play an instrument or sing

I am a unique possessor of multiple surnames and near-names

I am the teacher's pet whom none dare to vet judiciously

I am the responsible party in the destruction of the old archive

I am the architect of a novel view of housing and homing.

 

                              Things I have never done:

 

I have never recognized the meaning of "rising to the occasion."

I have never slept through a potentially apocalyptic event.

I have never walked a mile in the shoes of a false prophet.

I have never entered a prize-heavy hot-dog eating competition.

I have never won the inflated jackpot of an institutional lottery.

I have never purchased a ticket for travel to the moon itself.

I have never discovered the remains of an unknown dinosaur.

I have never expressed preference for imperfect over participles.

I have never completed the running of an urban marathon.

I have never ever traveled to any site of nuclear devastation.

I have never joked about the expression "died 'n' gone to heaven."

I have never taken a class proposing to explain the Beaux Arts.

I have never imagined or composed a musical piece à la Mozart.

I have never terminated the elaboration of an actual novella.

I have never reviewed an end-stopped French-language film.

I have never ended a lyric instance with the vocabular item fin.

 

 

 

                                                Street Cred

 

Last night at 12:01:

 

The doctors had prescribed some rather potent sedatives

The thinking being that I might be able to sleep through

the piercing discomfort of this condition

But alas I was awakened by a jarring jolt of midnight pain

though I managed to get myself to the bathroom

planning to douse my countenance with cold cold cold water

Instead I walked through bright beams of moonlight

For the newly installed skylight was perfectly framing a lunar display

of a midnight sky, clear, brisk, starry, curative.

 

 

                          Fruitful Realization

 

 

Song of My

Singular Being

 

Here, I am

at one A.M.

in my unique self

wandering

       and

wondering

if there still might be

someone just like me.